The Amazon Princess shares a few thoughts with her gay fan following.
We all know Heinberg’s stint was a disaster.
I like men. To like men on an island full of women loving and pleasuring one another is really queer. Take that, Wertham!
On the subject of men…Steve Trevor is in the past. You should let him go, too. I’m here to experience Man’s World.
From my “white period” to the number of stars on my panties to my breast plate and boots…Why are gay men so obsessed over my clothes? Not that I don’t love gay men…
Lynda Carter certainly appears nice, doesn’t she?
Admit it, you love my breasts.
Love, love, love Spartacus Blood and Sand! It’s terrible what happened to Barca. Perhaps Achilles will let me…oh, sorry.
Get over the twirl!
Really, get over the twirl. I love that you first twirled when you were four, and how old are you now?
Everyone should have the right to marry the person they love.
Nicola, please give me back real panties. Wedgies are so distracting in the heat of battle.
No, you may not wear my tiara.
Tags: Wonder Woman
Di,
I just gotta know, was it weird for you at first when your best friend Etta started dating your ex, Steve? C’mon, admit it, it was weird right?
Also, as a race of women that originated from Greece, why are Amazons not more olive-complected? Further, why do you gals shave your armpits? Surely you don’t ascribe to some man’s standard of beauty.
Finally, how would you feel if Nia Vardalos played you in a movie?
Sincerely,
-Alex W.
Dear Alex,
Since you bring the subject about Steve and Etta up, I will tell you that, yes, it was a bit awkward at first. Etta insisted on asking all kinds of questions about Steve’s manhood, and then after they’d bedded her stories became all the more explicit. I love Etta dearly, and she can put many of Jason’s Argonauts to shame with her salty language. If there’s one thing Etta loves more than chocolate…
I don’t know why we’re more ivory than olive skinned or why we shave our underarms and legs for that matter. Perhaps my mother the Queen will know the answers. I’ll have to ask her.
Nia Vardalos is a wonderful actor and it would be an honor for her to play me in a movie. I wish she had listened when I tried to discourage her from making that Connie and Carla movie. She deserves better.
Thank you so much for writing to ask, Alex.
Best regards,
Princess Diana
Dear Diana,
so why DO you need a plane (invisible or not) when you can already fly? also, do you EVER have a bad hair day? and my dear friend EDNA MODE asked: Dahling, the retractable heels on yohr boots are FABULOUS!( now you see them now u dont) next time though I ! vill be designing your outfits!!
xxoxo
Scott and Edna
Dearest Scott and Edna,
It is time to be honest about the invisible jet. The man who first wrote of my adventures, William Moulton Marston, simply did not believe that the gods had blessed me with the gift of flight. Despite Mr. Marston being in a polyamorous relationship with two women, I often suspected he had some issues of his own. Otherwise, why insist on my mode of transportation being an invisible phallus?
Yes, there are the occasional bad hair days. You should never see this depicted in one of my lovely serial adaptations though. To borrow a Latin phrase, it was quid pro quo. For all the years of riding in the invisible phal — jet, I insisted all these marvelous artists always draw me with good hair.
Edna, your offer is most gracious and shall be considered the next time a new outfit is desired. My only request is for a design without a thong. Wedgies are rather unbecoming of a Princess as well distracting during a fight. I’d like to see how Mr. DiDio fares wearing such a garment the next time some villain requires a sound thrashing.
Best regards,
Princess Diana