Teleny and Camille

Art by the infernal Jon Macy

By Joe Palmer

Dear God-fearing gentlemen and ladies: It is with indignation burning in my breast that compels me to sound a clarion bell to forewarn the populace of a most horrifying book which has surfaced of late from the foulest recesses of the lowest levels of society. This novel, no this affront of debauchery, this “Teleny and Camille” has the telltale stamp of the once feted degenerate Oscar Wilde. This is no simple manuscript; accompanying the writing are illustrations depicting the lecherous adventures of these two young men as they indulge in unspeakable, lascivious and unnatural acts which are proven as the abhorence of God and hallowed civilization. One might presume these debased drawings to be produced by Wilde’s occasional associate Aubrey Beardsley. Rather, they are the unholy work of one Jon Macy, and we feel he must be of equal standing to Wilde for so putting into form acts between these two men and others which should never be spoken of by good and righteous people. Never before has this upright person looked upon images of lanquor, of men in cataphysical couplings, declaring love to one another. It is a mockery of the natural order upon which our history rests! Mr. Macy, this one believes, should be sent to the gaol — gentle ladies, please avert your gaze as it is not our wish to offend — for sketching tumescent members and ample buttocks as if to be confused as supplications! Messers Macy and Wilde are denizens of whorish Babylon, as surely as their fetid imaginings!

This novel, if one is to be so kind to give it such distinction, is a heinous documentation of a man’s descent into an aberrant way of life fed by the furtive seductions of another man already given up to wayward means befitting the doomed citizens of the Cities of the Plain destroyed by God’s wrathful fire. As is typical, these men wantonly and openly cavort in their private company and dwell in delight of the carnal pleasures. Such scenes are shocking to common sensibilities! Furthermore, such rakehell behaviours bear the stain of the heathen, exotic culture of the Moors. Witness how the sugary palm date is consumed! Rather no! good friend! Spare your spirit of such imagery! The reproductive organs are intended but for two purposes: procreation in the glory of our Lord and purification via elimination of bodily wastes. Surely the catenation evidenced between foodstuffs and lewd displays is proof of lascivious effrontery by this Teleny and Camille and their various compatriots. These men are emboldened by the mirroring of their corrupt desires and dare to pronounce such emotions as love – and a love unequaled by that which is expressed in tradition! They are deluded, as our mannerly fraternity is duty-bound not to suffer such abominated practitioners of this unnameable vice. Would they be doomed, excepting this infernal choice to save these men from their rightful fate and to shew them continuing in misguided bliss.

Good friend, it further saddens and enrages that I should be likened unto the plight of Lot seeking righteous souls who our loving God spared from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. It is quite awful that men of such ill repute are illuminated so brazenly. Moreso that the authors of this salicious tome impugn their women, as few they may be, with equal ill repute. Their maligned notions besmirch even God’s creatures as we are presented with a vile and loathsome poodle given over to urges of which details your conscience shall be pardoned.

Reports purport that bookseller Charles Hirsch, owner of the Librairie Parisienne situated on Coventry Street and whose morals one must certainly question, disseminates this licentious album. Beware also of this queerly named purveyor, Northwest Comics, as it is this brash upstart in matters which dare not speak its name from which emanates this sinfully illustrated decadence.

Be you circumspect in all manners should you encounter this Teleny and Camille! Its very existence seeks to subvert the natural order of God’s creation!

An advisement to all gentlemen of worthy repute: after some while during which this one prepondered such risks, the resolve to afford you, my friend, the choice to deliberate the following so that you may not be found ill-prepared should such devious creatures confront you became hardened within my body and senses. Gird your self with God’s holy words to your bosom before proceeding to this most profane imagery!

One must be certain to avoid the accidental purchase of such filth from this purveyor, or this one, or directly from the damnable publisher. You may also wish to read this review which was written by a fellow wanderer of Wilde’s tribe.

Jon Macy art and adaptation

Oscar Wilde and unnamed associates are the purported authors

Published by Northwest Comics $29.99 240 page

Purchase this damnable tome from Amazon.

March 9, 2015
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